


There's a lobster involved

by merkintosh



Series: drabbles [12]
Category: Glee
Genre: Gen, friends - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 06:21:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merkintosh/pseuds/merkintosh
Summary: Rachel has no qualms about being compared to a young Jennifer Aniston.





	There's a lobster involved

"I've finally figure it out," Rachel said triumphantly. Kurt slammed his locker door shut and glanced at her sideways for a second.  
  
"Good for you," he said briskly, before walking away. Rachel scrambled to keep up with his long-legged pace.  
  
"No, it's been bugging me for awhile now, but I've figured it out: You're Monica," Rachel said, her smile wide and voracious.  
  
Kurt rolled his eyes and re-adjusted his hold on his textbooks. "Oh god, Rachel, why are you talking to me?"  
  
Rachel play-punched him on the shoulder. Kurt desperately tried to prevent himself from twisting around and smacking her with his books. He only swung halfway and nudged her with his bag instead. "Because, _silly,_ you're the Monica to my Rachel. This is big news, it's huge! We're going to be friends for life," Rachel said, the excitement climbing in her voice.  
  
Resigned, Kurt hated himself for continuing the conversation. "I regret this already, but where did you get that idea?"  
  
"I thought it was fairly obvious that my life parallels that of Rachel Green. It took me awhile to realize you were Monica, but think about it. Finn is Ross, who is madly in love with me but afraid of that, and you're his sibling who loves him unconditionally even when he's being stupid about being in love with me." Rachel said, prattling away as they walked down the hallway. She was oblivious to anyone else, occasionally bodychecking a tiny Freshman.  
  
"This is wrong on so many levels," Kurt said.  
  
"Monica's first kiss was Ross," Rachel said charitably.  
  
"Oh my lord," Kurt said, clutching his books tighter.  
  
"Quinn's obviously his first wife who later reveals that she's a lesbian," Rachel said, her eyes darkening in consternation.  
  
"Somebody kill me where I stand," Kurt shut his eyes and hoped.  
  
Rachel raced to stand in front of Kurt and stop him before he could enter his science class. "And you'll fall in love with your best male friend after years of platonic indifference only to have a one-night stand at Finn's wedding to his third wife where he'll accidentally say my name at the alter. You'll then adopt twins."  
  
Kurt smiled a little at that thought. And then he remembered that he was having this conversation with Rachel. "I'm not your Monica."  
  
Rachel nodded. "You're totally my Monica. You'll become a professional chef and maybe I'll end up with a job in fashion like my namesake."  
  
Kurt grimaced. "I have never loathed your existence more than at this exact moment."  
  
"That's ok!" Rachel said, wide smile back in place. "We lose touch after high school only to meet up again when I'm down and out after finding out my dentist fiancee was sleeping with my maid of honor. We're destined to be friends forever."  
  
Kurt stared at Rachel, mouth open in horror, and roughly pushed her out of the way of the door. He was almost inside when he heard Rachel ring out her parting words. "We're totally best friends for life! You just don't know it yet!"  
  
Every student in the class looked at him in sympathetic despair. His teacher wordlessly handed him a box of kleenex.

**Author's Note:**

> ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ


End file.
